Meet Pam Kay, avid reader from California

There are a lot of interviews being done, everywhere, on TV, radio, on blogs, and they’re always about celebrities. In the writing industry, I see author interviews almost every day, even I do them often on Wednesdays, and they are important, no doubt. I’ve sat in my good friend Elin Gregory’s Comfy Chair (where I did my first ever public appearance as author!), I’ve even crawled into bed with Lee Brazil, the result of which has yet to be published… Other interviews with me can be found on my media page.

But, I’ve yet to read an interview with a reader, and this is why I figured I’d give this a shot. I’ve asked some of the people closest to me if they would volunteer for this, and here goes nothing: Pam Kay is a really brave woman to do this and she’s answered the questions very candidly and in return she got to ask me ONE question to which I’ve promised an honest and candid answer… The reader also gets to decide the setting of the interview. I hope you enjoy it. And if you’re a reader, not an (aspiring) author or blogger, feel free to reach out, and I’d be happy to schedule you for future Friday’s. The questions will vary, depending on how well I know you.

Trinidad, CA, the setting for my interview with Pam Kay. Image: Wikipedia

Trinidad, CA, the setting for my interview with Pam Kay. Nice choice! Image: Wikipedia

If you were to do this interview in the real world, where would we sit and talk?

Trinidad, North Coast, California, Oceanfront Chalet

Who is Pam in her own words?

Pam, our reader, talking to me on the California coast.

Pam, our reader, talking to me on the California coast.

I am a very loving, laid back, sensual, sexual, honest, thoughtful woman with a very caring heart.  When my husband was alive he always called me a nympho because I couldn’t get enough, and I think a lot of that has carried over in my later years, but my thought and interests have changed with my current love of gay romance.  I told a friend of mine within the last couple of years, that I think I was meant to be a man because I would enjoy the intense relationships/Sex that these books bring out in me.  These books are my life now, my fantasy, and have taken me to a world I didn’t know existed, but I am sure glad I found them….the characters, the authors, and the other readers.  You’ve changed my world…

What is one thing you would like the world to remember you for?

The one thing I would like the world to remember me by is my thoughtfulness, generosity, and the love I have for my family and friends.  If any of them are hurting in any way I will do anything in my power to help whether being there for them, help out financially if at all possible, and doing what needs to be done.  I’ve often been called an “angel” and maybe that is what God’s purpose and plan has been for me.  I’ve been Blessed.

I know you’re an avid reader. What got you into reading in the first place?

I am an avid reader.  In my earlier years, not so much.  As I got in my 50’s I read Fifty Shades of Grey….15 times….That got me thinking of the erotic aspect of the genres.  I read M/F initially and it was great at the beginning, then a friend introduced me to M/M and I haven’t looked back.  I found reading soothes my soul and gets me in a world that gets me away from problems.  It’s my Getaway…

Of all the many genres out there, from crime to sci-fi to literary novels, you like to read gay fiction. Why?

Gay fiction, to me, is the most intense erotic fiction there is.  It’s exciting, titillating, hot, and extremely arousing and I found that the story lines are amazing.  There are a lot of authors I enjoy, but they all seem to have something different to bring to the story.  Like I said, when I found M/M Gay fiction, there was no going back.  I won’t read any other genre because they don’t give me what this one does.  I will read books that have other genre’s included such as paranormal, sci-fi, and crime, but I like the gay aspect within it.

Always_Kindle_AlexanderIf a genie came and granted you a special wish, to be the main character of a book, which would you choose and why?

If a genie came and granted a wish to be a special main character of a book, I would choose Kane in the book “Always” by Kindle Alexander.  This is a beautiful story of Kane, who owned his own restaurant and met Avery who was a lawyer and became a Senator.  The two had 40 wonderful years together, two children, and a beautiful life together until Avery got sick and passed away.  Kane lasted 6 weeks before he wasted away and joined Avery in Heaven.  This story was one of the most beautiful I’ve ever read, but in the end it was very sad.  I will never forget this book.  Kane could not do without Avery.  A life of wonderful true love, romance, and a definite Forever.

The genie didn’t appreciate your choice and sends you off to live the rest of your life with only three books as company. Choose wisely!

The Gifted One” by Jacob Z Flores

Slaying Isidore’s Dragons” by Cody Kennedy

Accompanied by a Waltz” by Andrew Grey

Let’s get personal… 😀 Your earliest childhood memory?      

My earliest childhood memory…Wow, that’s a hard one…The earliest memories I can remember are all the family Christmases that we had at all our homes.  Those were the happy times.  But then I think an earlier one I can just hardly remember, was my brother was chasing me for a quarter I had and I swallowed it.  The maid and my aunt turned me upside down to get it out, but to no avail.  They got me to the hospital and found it had already passed into my stomach.  At least I didn’t choke.  Then it was a matter of time waiting for it to come out.

What’s the last thing you think of before you fall asleep?

The last thing I think about before I go to sleep is usually being the character I am reading about.  To say the least it gets me aroused enough to….. [Wow, TMI Pam… 😆]

What is the best advice you’ve ever been given?

The best advice I have ever been given is to make sure the guy always wore a condon…I was awfully naïve, which I shouldn’t have been being a nurse, but it just didn’t dawn on me what could happen.  But then again I was married at the time.  After my husband passed I got a little wild.  Luckily, I didn’t catch anything, but I should have given that advice to a relative because unfortunately she contracted HIV.  Back in the days I was brought up, it wasn’t an issue, but I’ve realized the dangerous game I was playing.

And the worst?

The worst advice I was given was to believe some of these guys on the internet.  Got scammed once, but never again.  RED FLAG!!! RED FLAG!!! [In this context, guys can be women or men…]

Maui is famous for its beaches and resorts. The southern towns of Lahaina and Wailea are full of resorts for (almost) every budget. Photo: Private

Maui is famous for its beaches and resorts. The southern towns of Lahaina and Wailea are full of resorts for (almost) every budget. Photo: Private

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been to?

The most beautiful place I have ever been to is Maui.  Spent too little time there and I want to go back soon to spend a lot more time.  Now I just need a partner to go with me. [I hope you liked my travel review of the island…]

Do you have any regrets in life?

I have some regrets, but I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t gone through them.  I had a great marriage, career, but all fell apart after my husband’s passing.  My life is changing as of now and in 9 months will change even greater.  I plan on really taking my retirement and continuing my quest in the M/M community.  Thank you all for being my friends and welcoming me in your community.  Love you all.

Quick fire five: Answer only with one word OR a number.

  1. On average, how many books do you read per week? 3
  2. Who’s your favorite author?   Jacob Z. Flores [To get to this response, eight e-mails were necessary. Let’s just say that Pam had a really, really hard time making up her mind…] 😜 
  3. Your Favorite Drink? Bloody Mary
  4. How old were you when you lost your, you know, “virginity”? (Don’t worry, I won’t tell your mom) 19 years old
  5. Who’s your favorite musical artist?  Carrie Underwood

And here is the question that Pam got to ask me: How did you and your husband meet ?


Our wedding, back in 2004.

Time for me to reply… It’s actually a “funny” story. I had broken up with my then partner and was lonely. I’m not very good at being alone. I went online (this is 2001, long before Facebook, Tinder and and did a search for my “ideal” partner on the then largest gay community in Sweden. First I did a search in Gothenburg and came up with zero matches. I don’t recall all the search parameters I put in, but it included “wants kids”, “wants to get married” and certain ideal criteria about height and what not. Anyway, I decided to go national, and found three profiles in all of Sweden who matched my dream partner criteria. I e-mailed all three with a long message. One of them replied, and I recall he had this photo of a blond cute young guy holding a folder retriever as profile photo. I instantly liked him. Only later did I find out (just like you did, Pam) that you can’t take everything online at face value. It wasn’t a photo of the guy, but we began to talk on the phone and e-mailed a couple of times. We were to meet in Gothenburg in May of 2001 when then new President Bush was to visit our city for an EU summit. The summit was a disaster, our city was rioted and I was so busy with work (I did radio shows back then) that I never got to meet the guy, and besides, we didn’t really click. I met a few other guys, had a summer fling and then, sometime in late August we began to talk again, on the phone, and something happened, and we connected, spending late nights, sometimes up until three, four am, on the phone with each other. I asked him to come see me, a second chance, and he arrived in Gothenburg on September 11, 2001, just as the first plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. We spent our first date in front of the TV, until probably two or three am, before we finally went to bed. We have been a couple ever since, we got married in 2004 (see pic), celebrating our 11th anniversary on the 11th this month, and our son (checking off another requirement on my original list) was born in 2013. So I can tell you that online dating works, if you put your mind to it and give it your everything!

This was our first author meets reader interview. I had lots of fun with Pam, and I hope you did, too. If you’d like to have some fun with me, and answer a few questions, by all means, get in touch!

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Have a wonderful weekend! See you on Monday?


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