I love my son.

Like most other parents, I would gladly give my life to save his. The smile on his face when I or his pappa walks into his room in the morning, is reward enough (and then some) for all the soiled diapers we have to change, all the cranky times we endure together or the sleep depravation we suffer from (again, just like most parents.) Having said that, we’re actually lucky. Our son sleeps 11 hours every night, if only his dads could learn to go to bed before eleven pm there would be no sleep depravation…

Two and a half men…

We take our son to the doctor (well, a nurse really, Swedish health care won’t let you to see a doctor unless you come with your head under your arm, detached of course!) regularly for his check-ups, he has plenty of toys and heaps of clothes, shoes, he drives two different strollers (his dads share one car), he’s already traveled to three continents, is part of a huge and loving family on those same three continents, and he’s got three cats as friends, one of them being particularly protective of this youngest member of their flock. So you’d think that we are just your regular family.

But we’re not.

(Well, actually, we are, but we’re told differently in the papers, every day)

Seeing that my husband and I are h-o-m-o-s-e-x-u-a-l-s, there is something wrong with us. It seems, the only reason we have a child is to molest him, just like all straight moms molest their sons, just like all straight fathers molest their daughters. Is that thought sickening to you? Have you ever thought about molesting your opposite sex child? Well, welcome to my world.

Even though the thought WAS nonexistent in my mind, it’s being put there by Vladimir Putin, various dictators in Africa and religious zealots around the world into my mind on a daily basis. Try to live with that. It isn’t easy. Rest assured, I would never, ever, do anything to hur my son. I’d rather die.

It also seems that having a child is extremely selfish. We only think of ourselves, with no regards to anyone else, just like everyone else who becomes a parent, my friends who’s daughter is only one month older than Sascha. They only thought about themselves when they became parents. Well, news flash, that is the way nature intended it to be. If the human species is to survive, there has to be a pretty strong drive for procreation there, and why would I be any different than the rest of society? Ever since I was a little boy have I heard my mother speak about the times when I’d be a father. My own dad was so desperate to have a grandchild he offered to set me up with a dyke in Germany, all expenses paid. At that time, he’d already been turned down by my baby brother. Yes, our instinct for procreation is extremely strong, and just because my heart beats for another man doesn’t mean that these instincts are any less prevalent in me. So why is it selfish when I feel that way? See above…

They say that ‘marriage’ isn’t for gays, because we can’t procreate. Well, if that were the case, why allows infertile people to stay married? Why allow old people past their menopause get (re-)married? Why not force people to stay ‘single’ until she’s given birth? We’d certainly not have to witness 92 second marriages like the ones Britney Spears has gotten herself into, and we wouldn’t need all those disgusting virgin pledges and tests.

No, the procreation claim is just BS, and they know it. If people seek ‘holy matrimonies’ in some religious ceremony in a building they wish to call “sacred”, so be it, but don’t force me to abstain from tax breaks, inheritance legislation and all other legal perks the government provides to married couples, because it has nothing to do with procreation. Humans can procreate just fine without being married, always have, always will. Besides, plenty of gays have procreated just fine.

My boy is almost ten months old, he is innocent of the evils of the world. He doesn’t understand that the aunties who insist on groping him time and time again just don’t understand that love has no gender, no sex. Love is love. He doesn’t understand why there are so many people out there who hate his daddies so badly that they’d kill us, burn us alive, flog us, beat us, or at least put us behind bars for the rest of our lives. All he sees is a daddy and a pappa who change his diapers, bathe him, clothe him, read for him, sing for him, feed him, hug him, kiss him, parents who love him, making him happy.

We will continue to raise our son that way, showing him that love is the only thing that matters, showering him in love to inoculate him against the evils of organized religion and politics, making sure that one day, when he finds his love, when he is ready to start a family of his own, he’ll be able to provide his children with the same love and strength.

Yes, I do want grandkids, just like all other parents. I guess that’s selfish, too. So be it! I’m only human…

Have a great week-end!

PS: A suggestion to all you homophobes out there: the minute you stop harassing us is when my son will have the same preconditions growing up as children raised in different sex families. You hold the power to make that difference, I don’t!

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